She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude i'm inner monologue high
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
