whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
