i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize