on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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