DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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