He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
