i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
