You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
