Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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