I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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