He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize