sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
