shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize