Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
