you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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