problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
