Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
then he tried to convert me to islam
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
