Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
