you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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