Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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