My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
