Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
