This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
