I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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