His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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