her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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