So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
