So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
