At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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