What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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