Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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