Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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