I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
