You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think your dad took our porno
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
