i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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