Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
