Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
