I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
