I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
