i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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