I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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