I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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