Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
