good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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