Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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