is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
