I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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