love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're too hungover to prance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
