she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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