Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she pinky promised me she was 18
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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