you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
