We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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