love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
