Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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