the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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