Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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