Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
