Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
