Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
