is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
