What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
