We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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