I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
