dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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