I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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