Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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