I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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