Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
