Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
