I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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