Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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