It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
