Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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